When a person owns their identity, the world benefits.
Meet Tom
Tom Gentry is a veteran in the field of addiction treatment, known for his calm disposition and his empathic approach to helping those struggling with addiction and related issues.
He is an internationally-certified alcohol and drug counselor (ICADC), living in central Indiana, who has spent more than 25 years working with families affected by addiction. He helps people navigate the terrain between early stages of abstinence and long-term recovery. He facilitates groups, focusing on relationships, codependency issues, and the transition into manhood.
Tom found recovery as a young adult and is grateful to be breaking the cycle of alcoholism in his family, from which it has suffered for generations.
Born and raised in a small town, Tom’s early life was marked by a profound curiosity about human behavior and a desire to help others. His journey into the world of addiction recovery began after witnessing the impact of addiction on loved ones, which fueled his passion for making a difference. Over the years, Tom has developed a unique blend of personal experience and professional expertise, allowing him to connect with individuals on a meaningful level. Through his writings, podcasts, and personalized support, Tom continues to inspire and empower those seeking a path to healing.
Tom’s podcast, The Path to Authenticity, is being true to oneself–building from the premise that when a person owns their identity, the world benefits.
An Autobiography in 2,200 Characters
Originally published as an Instagram post. See @offmutewithmel.
I once heard someone say, “when it comes to love, if you don’t show it, it doesn’t count.” That expression resonated with me and the sentiment informs my approach to life.
I grew up in a factory town with a lot of bars. When it came time for me to transition into manhood, I had no sense of meaning or purpose. I felt lost; stuck. As a child, I wanted to feel more connected to the men who were important to me. It was logical for that little boy to conclude drinking was the way to strengthen those bonds.
My problematic relationship with alcohol began then and ended on a gurney when I was 23. Although, now I know I betrayed myself in doing so, love is what motivated me to step onto that destructive path. As with my favorite boyhood superheroes, what once poisoned me became a source of great power. Now, my purpose is to help people have better lives, and to try to spare them some of the suffering I endured. I’ve spent over 20 years helping families overcome issues with addiction. I see that work as a privilege.
Now, I seek to enlarge my sphere of influence with my writing and this podcast. It’s rooted in the conviction that the world needs us to be who we really are, not who we think we’re supposed to be.
That same conviction, along with clear and consistent expression of love, define my approach to fatherhood. I’ve tried to teach my son what my parents taught me – to be a good, honest man. I believe whether or not you go to church, no matter how much you pray or meditate – none of it matters if you treat people like garbage. Showing love, being kind, being real – these things are important.
Acting from a place of love, even if it means making eye contact with a stranger or saying hello to someone in the elevator, makes my life better and makes the world better.
As with other bodily functions, when we pretend not to have emotions things get messy, and it stinks. I know my willingness to shed a tear makes me more of a man, not less of one.
My Purpose and Objective
In my day-to-day work, I use the lessons I’ve learned, my professional experience, and the skills I’ve developed to help people live fuller, more meaningful lives. That happens in different ways, depending on the specific needs of the client. Sometimes it’s one-on-one coaching for people in early recovery, or people going through major life transitions. Sometimes it’s working with families, helping them find appropriate support for a loved one in need. Other times, it’s leading virtual group sessions where clients can benefit from the support of other people with similar challenges.
My journey into this work started as a young adult in the late 1990’s, when I faced my own struggles with alcohol. Fortunately, I received world-class treatment at an incredible facility—part of what’s now the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation—and eventually trained there to become a counselor. That experience changed everything for me.
These days, I stay connected to a wider community by sharing my experience and what I learn on an ongoing basis. I write regularly and publish consistently on Substack. I also host podcasts and create other kinds of media that focus on long-term recovery, building better relationships, and personal growth.
As I’ve grown over the years, my original mission has evolved. What started out as a focus on helping people find long-term recovery has widened substantially. Somewhere along the way, I realized that while not everyone struggles with addiction, all of us are dealing with something. And that “something” deserves care, attention, and support.
I’ve been lucky to work with some of the most respected treatment providers in the world—places like Cumberland Heights in Nashville and the Crossroads Centre in Antigua. And of course, the place where the path home to my higher self began, that Hazelden facility in South Florida.
Life has a way of teaching us what really matters. It’s become increasingly clear to me that doing the real work means showing up fully, as our authentic selves. Whether I’m helping a parent or partner figure out the next right step for their loved one, running a men’s group, walking alongside someone in recovery as they navigate relationship challenges, sharing a personal story through writing, or talking with an expert on grief for a podcast episode—my heart is always in the same place: helping people reconnect with themselves and their emotions.
If there’s any way I can support you or someone close to you, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m here to help.