In episode one of Men Who Talk Tom Gentry and Ed Tilton begin an eight-part series of conversations on men and intimacy with a discussion on what intimacy is in the first place, why it matters, and how this topic is relevant to modern men and the people who love them. Brought to you by Begin Again Institute, in Boulder, Colorado.
The discussion focuses on the theme of men and intimacy, and the barriers that prevent men from expressing their emotions and building authentic connections. Tom and Ed explore the concept of emotional literacy, discussing how many men struggle with articulating their feelings and the societal norms that discourage men from being vulnerable. They emphasize the importance of healthy communication in relationships and the value of men being able to express their emotions openly.
Moreover, the conversation delves into the impact of trauma on intimacy, highlighting the role of past experiences in shaping men’s emotional responses and behaviors. The speakers discuss the necessity of creating safe spaces for men to open up and explore their vulnerabilities without fear of judgment or re-traumatization. They also underscore the significance of developing empathy and emotional literacy to deepen connections in relationships and foster personal growth. The dialogue touches on the challenges men face in forming deep, meaningful relationships with both men and women, the role of mentors in emotional development, and the importance of setting boundaries and managing expectations in interpersonal interactions.
Furthermore, the conversation delves into the complexities of gender roles and societal expectations of masculinity, addressing the impact of toxic masculinity on men’s emotional well-being and relationship dynamics. Tom and Ed discuss the need for men to break free from traditional gender stereotypes and embrace vulnerability as a strength rather than a weakness. They emphasize the value of open communication, validation, and attunement in creating healthy and fulfilling relationships, as well as the importance of recognizing and respecting individual boundaries in intimate connections. Overall, the conversation serves as a thought-provoking exploration of the challenges men face in expressing their emotions and building genuine connections in a society that often values stoicism and emotional restraint in men.
Since 2008, Begin Again Institute has specialized in helping men heal both their sexually addictive behaviors and rebuild relationships with damaged wives and partners. Begin Again Institute was founded to specialize in intensive treatment for sex and pornography addiction. Their partner-sensitive treatment program utilizes the TINSA® (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) model, coupled with the TASK Approach developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes.
Tom Gentry is an internationally certified alcohol and drug counselor (ICADC). He provides recovery coaching for individuals, family coaching for people with loved ones who suffer from substance use disorders, and transitional coaching for people amid significant life changes. He has spent more than 25 years working with people and families affected by addiction and related issues. Learn more about Tom and his work by visiting tomgentry.com.
In episode two of Men Who Talk Tom Gentry and Ed Tilton continue an eight-part series of conversations on men and intimacy with a discussion on how we are socialized to believe that women feel and “real” men don’t, and how this false belief affects close relationships. Brought to you by Begin Again Institute.
In this discussion between Tom Gentry and Ed Tilton, the two explore the societal expectations and challenges around men expressing emotions. Tom reflects on his personal experiences and frustrations with the notion that men should not be emotional, citing cultural conditioning and misinterpretations of psychological theories like Carl Jung’s concept of collective unconscious. He emphasizes that emotions are universal and not gender-dependent, and criticizes the harmful stereotype that men should suppress their feelings.
Ed agrees, noting how societal “man rules” often dictate that men shouldn’t show vulnerability or emotions, leading to harmful stereotypes and ostracism. He shares his upbringing experience where displaying emotions was discouraged, even by his own mother, to avoid bullying and gain acceptance. Both men stress the importance of trust and safety in sharing emotions, highlighting the need for intimate connections where vulnerability can be expressed without judgment.
They discuss the consequences of repressed emotions, including impulsivity and ineffective expression through social media. Tom advocates for teaching emotional containment rather than suppression, allowing individuals to navigate emotions while maintaining control. He suggests that historical survival instincts to compartmentalize emotions have been misconstrued, leading to damaging beliefs about men’s emotional capacities. Ultimately, they emphasize the necessity of challenging outdated stereotypes and fostering healthy emotional expression for all genders.
Since 2008, Begin Again Institute has specialized in helping men heal both their sexually addictive behaviors and rebuild relationships with damaged wives and partners. Begin Again Institute was founded to specialize in intensive treatment for sex and pornography addiction. Their partner-sensitive treatment program utilizes the TINSA® (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) model, coupled with the TASK Approach developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes.
Tom Gentry is an internationally certified alcohol and drug counselor (ICADC). He provides recovery coaching for individuals, family coaching for people with loved ones who suffer from substance use disorders, and transitional coaching for people amid significant life changes. He has spent more than 25 years working with people and families affected by addiction and related issues. Learn more about Tom and his work by visiting tomgentry.com.
In episode three of Men Who Talk Tom Gentry and Ed Tilton continue an eight-part series of conversations on men and intimacy with a discussion on toxic masculinity, a polarizing term often conflated with masculinity itself. Brought to you by Begin Again Institute.
The discussion in this episode revolves around exploring masculinity and its complexities, particularly in the context of current events like the conflict in Ukraine involving Putin and Zelinsky. The speakers differentiate between healthy and toxic masculinity, emphasizing that healthy masculinity involves qualities like protection, community, and responsibility towards others. They critique societal norms that discourage men from expressing emotions, leading to insecurity and destructive behaviors associated with toxic masculinity. The conversation underscores the importance of emotional intelligence, community support, and redefining masculinity to promote healthier, more balanced identities.
Since 2008, Begin Again Institute has specialized in helping men heal both their sexually addictive behaviors and rebuild relationships with damaged wives and partners. Begin Again Institute was founded to specialize in intensive treatment for sex and pornography addiction. Their partner-sensitive treatment program utilizes the TINSA® (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) model, coupled with the TASK Approach developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes.
Tom Gentry is an internationally certified alcohol and drug counselor (ICADC). He provides recovery coaching for individuals, family coaching for people with loved ones who suffer from substance use disorders, and transitional coaching for people amid significant life changes. He has spent more than 25 years working with people and families affected by addiction and related issues. Learn more about Tom and his work by visiting tomgentry.com.
In episode four of Men Who Talk, Tom Gentry and Ed Tilton continue an eight-part series of conversations, discussing men and their struggles with meaningful friendships. Brought to you by Begin Again Institute.
Since 2008, Begin Again Institute has specialized in helping men heal both their sexually addictive behaviors and rebuild relationships with damaged wives and partners. Begin Again Institute was founded to specialize in intensive treatment for sex and pornography addiction. Their partner-sensitive treatment program utilizes the TINSA® (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) model, coupled with the TASK Approach developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes.
Tom Gentry is an internationally certified alcohol and drug counselor (ICADC). He provides recovery coaching for individuals, family coaching for people with loved ones who suffer from substance use disorders, and transitional coaching for people amid significant life changes. He has spent more than 25 years working with people and families affected by addiction and related issues. Learn more about Tom and his work by visiting tomgentry.com.
In episode five of Men Who Talk Tom Gentry and Ed Tilton continue an eight-part series of conversations, discussing men and their struggles with meaningful friendships. Brought to you by Begin Again Institute.
In this episode, we discuss The Way of Men, by Jack Donovan, and It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle, by Mark Wolynn. Tom and Ed delve into the complexities of male intimacy and the instinctive behavior of sizing each other up. They discuss how men often assess each other in terms of status and belonging, a behavior rooted in survival instincts and the need to establish security within groups. Ed emphasizes the importance of safety in relationships and warns against the pitfalls of viewing competition as a pass-fail scenario, which can lead to relational trauma and black-and-white thinking.
Tom reflects on his personal journey, highlighting the struggle with self-esteem and jealousy when comparing himself to more successful peers. He acknowledges the need for self-acceptance and reframing negative thoughts to foster genuine happiness for others. Ed offers insights on navigating jealousy by addressing internal wounds and distinguishing between societal narratives and personal values.
Throughout the conversation, the speakers underscore the significance of individual empowerment and self-definition in masculinity, urging men to prioritize personal growth over external markers of success. They advocate for authenticity in relationships, emphasizing the role of inner work in achieving fulfillment and meaningful connections. The dialogue touches on themes of identity formation, family dynamics, and the pursuit of genuine self-worth beyond superficial measures of status.
Tom Gentry is an internationally certified alcohol and drug counselor (ICADC). He provides recovery coaching for individuals, family coaching for people with loved ones who suffer from substance use disorders, and transitional coaching for people amid significant life changes. He has spent more than 25 years working with people and families affected by addiction and related issues. Learn more about Tom and his work by visiting tomgentry.com.
Since 2008, Begin Again Institute has specialized in helping men heal both their sexually addictive behaviors and rebuild relationships with damaged wives and partners. Begin Again Institute was founded to specialize in intensive treatment for sex and pornography addiction. Their partner-sensitive treatment program utilizes the TINSA® (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) model, coupled with the TASK Approach developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes.
