After a bit of a break, 20 Questions is back. I’m beginning production on Season Two. In this laid-back catch-up episode, Ed Tilton returns to the mic to reconnect with listeners and set the stage for what’s coming next. It’s been a minute, but the vibe is the same: real talk, good company, and (you guessed it) 20 questions.
This video episode is only available to paid subscribers. Look for the completed episode in the coming weeks, wherever you listen to podcasts.
Whether you’re a longtime listener or just jumping in, enjoy.
Hear more from Ed in episode 158 of The Path to Authenticity.
Summary
In this conversation, Ed Tilton and Tom Gentry explore a variety of topics through a series of 20 questions. They reflect on personal growth, career aspirations, and the importance of honesty in relationships. Ed shares insights about his work in behavioral health, his journey of recovery, and the significance of parenting. The discussion also touches on creative expression, leadership philosophies, and the value of connection. Throughout the conversation, both speakers emphasize the importance of being present and generous in their lives and relationships.
Takeaways
* Ed’s life title would be ‘Progress, not perfection.’
* The importance of training people to leave while treating them to stay.
* Bloomington, Illinois, is a great place to be from.
* Ed’s preferred form of creative expression is journaling.
* His favorite song is ‘You Are My Sunshine.’
* A Separate Peace was a pivotal book for Ed.
* Ed admires his parents for their hard work and dedication.
* Struggling with the inner critic is a common challenge.
* Childhood celebrity crush was Topanga from Boy Meets World.
* Ed’s greatest achievement is his personal recovery.
Tom Gentry is an internationally certified alcohol and drug counselor (ICADC). He provides recovery coaching for individuals, family coaching for people with loved ones who suffer from substance use disorders, and transitional coaching for people amid significant life changes. He has spent more than 25 years working with people and families affected by addiction and related issues. Learn more about Tom and his work by visiting tomgentry.com.
In episode one of Men Who Talk Tom Gentry and Ed Tilton begin an eight-part series of conversations on men and intimacy with a discussion on what intimacy is in the first place, why it matters, and how this topic is relevant to modern men and the people who love them. Brought to you by Begin Again Institute, in Boulder, Colorado.
The discussion focuses on the theme of men and intimacy, and the barriers that prevent men from expressing their emotions and building authentic connections. Tom and Ed explore the concept of emotional literacy, discussing how many men struggle with articulating their feelings and the societal norms that discourage men from being vulnerable. They emphasize the importance of healthy communication in relationships and the value of men being able to express their emotions openly.
Moreover, the conversation delves into the impact of trauma on intimacy, highlighting the role of past experiences in shaping men’s emotional responses and behaviors. The speakers discuss the necessity of creating safe spaces for men to open up and explore their vulnerabilities without fear of judgment or re-traumatization. They also underscore the significance of developing empathy and emotional literacy to deepen connections in relationships and foster personal growth. The dialogue touches on the challenges men face in forming deep, meaningful relationships with both men and women, the role of mentors in emotional development, and the importance of setting boundaries and managing expectations in interpersonal interactions.
Furthermore, the conversation delves into the complexities of gender roles and societal expectations of masculinity, addressing the impact of toxic masculinity on men’s emotional well-being and relationship dynamics. Tom and Ed discuss the need for men to break free from traditional gender stereotypes and embrace vulnerability as a strength rather than a weakness. They emphasize the value of open communication, validation, and attunement in creating healthy and fulfilling relationships, as well as the importance of recognizing and respecting individual boundaries in intimate connections. Overall, the conversation serves as a thought-provoking exploration of the challenges men face in expressing their emotions and building genuine connections in a society that often values stoicism and emotional restraint in men.
Since 2008, Begin Again Institute has specialized in helping men heal both their sexually addictive behaviors and rebuild relationships with damaged wives and partners. Begin Again Institute was founded to specialize in intensive treatment for sex and pornography addiction. Their partner-sensitive treatment program utilizes the TINSA® (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) model, coupled with the TASK Approach developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes.
Tom Gentry is an internationally certified alcohol and drug counselor (ICADC). He provides recovery coaching for individuals, family coaching for people with loved ones who suffer from substance use disorders, and transitional coaching for people amid significant life changes. He has spent more than 25 years working with people and families affected by addiction and related issues. Learn more about Tom and his work by visiting tomgentry.com.
In episode two of Men Who Talk Tom Gentry and Ed Tilton continue an eight-part series of conversations on men and intimacy with a discussion on how we are socialized to believe that women feel and “real” men don’t, and how this false belief affects close relationships. Brought to you by Begin Again Institute.
In this discussion between Tom Gentry and Ed Tilton, the two explore the societal expectations and challenges around men expressing emotions. Tom reflects on his personal experiences and frustrations with the notion that men should not be emotional, citing cultural conditioning and misinterpretations of psychological theories like Carl Jung’s concept of collective unconscious. He emphasizes that emotions are universal and not gender-dependent, and criticizes the harmful stereotype that men should suppress their feelings.
Ed agrees, noting how societal “man rules” often dictate that men shouldn’t show vulnerability or emotions, leading to harmful stereotypes and ostracism. He shares his upbringing experience where displaying emotions was discouraged, even by his own mother, to avoid bullying and gain acceptance. Both men stress the importance of trust and safety in sharing emotions, highlighting the need for intimate connections where vulnerability can be expressed without judgment.
They discuss the consequences of repressed emotions, including impulsivity and ineffective expression through social media. Tom advocates for teaching emotional containment rather than suppression, allowing individuals to navigate emotions while maintaining control. He suggests that historical survival instincts to compartmentalize emotions have been misconstrued, leading to damaging beliefs about men’s emotional capacities. Ultimately, they emphasize the necessity of challenging outdated stereotypes and fostering healthy emotional expression for all genders.
Since 2008, Begin Again Institute has specialized in helping men heal both their sexually addictive behaviors and rebuild relationships with damaged wives and partners. Begin Again Institute was founded to specialize in intensive treatment for sex and pornography addiction. Their partner-sensitive treatment program utilizes the TINSA® (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) model, coupled with the TASK Approach developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes.
Tom Gentry is an internationally certified alcohol and drug counselor (ICADC). He provides recovery coaching for individuals, family coaching for people with loved ones who suffer from substance use disorders, and transitional coaching for people amid significant life changes. He has spent more than 25 years working with people and families affected by addiction and related issues. Learn more about Tom and his work by visiting tomgentry.com.
In episode three of Men Who Talk Tom Gentry and Ed Tilton continue an eight-part series of conversations on men and intimacy with a discussion on toxic masculinity, a polarizing term often conflated with masculinity itself. Brought to you by Begin Again Institute.
The discussion in this episode revolves around exploring masculinity and its complexities, particularly in the context of current events like the conflict in Ukraine involving Putin and Zelinsky. The speakers differentiate between healthy and toxic masculinity, emphasizing that healthy masculinity involves qualities like protection, community, and responsibility towards others. They critique societal norms that discourage men from expressing emotions, leading to insecurity and destructive behaviors associated with toxic masculinity. The conversation underscores the importance of emotional intelligence, community support, and redefining masculinity to promote healthier, more balanced identities.
Since 2008, Begin Again Institute has specialized in helping men heal both their sexually addictive behaviors and rebuild relationships with damaged wives and partners. Begin Again Institute was founded to specialize in intensive treatment for sex and pornography addiction. Their partner-sensitive treatment program utilizes the TINSA® (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) model, coupled with the TASK Approach developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes.
Tom Gentry is an internationally certified alcohol and drug counselor (ICADC). He provides recovery coaching for individuals, family coaching for people with loved ones who suffer from substance use disorders, and transitional coaching for people amid significant life changes. He has spent more than 25 years working with people and families affected by addiction and related issues. Learn more about Tom and his work by visiting tomgentry.com.
In episode four of Men Who Talk, Tom Gentry and Ed Tilton continue an eight-part series of conversations, discussing men and their struggles with meaningful friendships. Brought to you by Begin Again Institute.
Since 2008, Begin Again Institute has specialized in helping men heal both their sexually addictive behaviors and rebuild relationships with damaged wives and partners. Begin Again Institute was founded to specialize in intensive treatment for sex and pornography addiction. Their partner-sensitive treatment program utilizes the TINSA® (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) model, coupled with the TASK Approach developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes.
Tom Gentry is an internationally certified alcohol and drug counselor (ICADC). He provides recovery coaching for individuals, family coaching for people with loved ones who suffer from substance use disorders, and transitional coaching for people amid significant life changes. He has spent more than 25 years working with people and families affected by addiction and related issues. Learn more about Tom and his work by visiting tomgentry.com.
